Chapter 3: The Quest
The matter of truth about
seeking (The Beloved) is the
bravery. [1] Qualified for this task is a
mighty man! And the resolution of
this affair is via severe pain. The victorious man is quite visible,
recognized
by tear-filled eyes. [2]
If you are a seeker, cleanse
the path by turning the back to
water & dust (this world). Though there are many paths in desert,
worst way
is taking your ‘Self’ along! [3]
The one for this endeavor must
be fear-less as confessed by
the guilt of the poet:
Secluded
and solitary are lovers in any town [4]
If they seek the love little assistance they found
Melts away the courage of
followers from the heartache due
to lack of any news (from Beloved). And the foundation of seekers
completely
demolished by tracking the trace-less, ineffective. No one, without any
exceptions, hold any thread of this affair. [5]
My dearest, if it exists why
rushing after it and if does
not why seeking? Facing the (court of) “One-ness”, ‘Self’ has no seat
and
‘being’ other than destruction has no other (form of) existence. [6]
Ponder upon your own affairs [7], remember and learn from
the people passed, since the outer limit of worship for all seekers is
exactly
this.
Sought much to find any trace of that
heartthrob
Until doubt lost in certainty,
certainty in doubt
Few moments traversed the love,
thinking aloud [8]
Making “my self” famous, “It is this”
and “I am that”
Once I looked honestly, not even a
thought of ‘It’ in mind
Lover and beloved was ‘I’, doubts
about this and that mine
[1] Courage for what? To face anything
that is thrown his
way, not swayed away from loving. He eyewitnesses brutality, wars,
genocide…
but the bravery within him guards his loving and does not allow any
hate or
prejudice to ooze through his heart. Kill his child, take his woman,
burn his
house down, ridicule his religion, discriminate his race, drive him to
poverty,
but his love is brave fearless to stand the test of time and trials. As
The Chosen Mustafa
(Prophet Mohammad PBUH) taught all the lovers, people are safe against
lover’s words and lover's hand.
Love, loving and lover are
mere words uttered even by
non-emoting machines. There are no words where the love is. Actions are
the
clarion calls for where the lover is. Ansaari teaching us that the
first requirement
for being a lover, for seeking the Beloved the Creator all things in
heavens
and earth, is the courage to face any hatred and betrayal.
If you are a coward, sit back,
seek not! and raise your hands
to Allah and ask for courage, prior to your quest on the path of love.
[2] Beloved of Allah, Mohammad and
those lovers and seekers
with him, loving towards each other, Koran [48:29]:
Looking upon the face of a
lover, you know! Face jaundice
with lack of sleep, eyes bloodied with the excess of crying during the
prostration asking for the Beloved and his loved ones. Their reward in
this
word is the rage of those who wage wars and hate. But in spite of the
immense
enmity opposing them, as was promised in Torah and Gospel, they shall
sprout
like a strong field no matter how much hate engulfing them. And the
love in
their heart shall bear the fruits in this world and the world after.
A tall young man from Mali in front of a grocery store in Harlem taught
me these, year 2002.
[3] If I asked you what was the mistake
in such and such
thing you did, your response will always be, well that guy was evil to
me, or
there was not enough funds or the government was such and such or the
media
portray us in such bad ways… Ansaari in most elegant words stops this
lying to our
selves. It was not the others! It was YOU. Yes! Your Self who did all
the evil.
From the religious failure to personal relationships to financial and
social
mayhem, it was you. So there are many ways on the path of love towards
Beloved,
and you will not be lost on any of them. You do not even need a map or
a guide.
All you need to know is that the worst possible route is if you take
your Self
along.
[4] Black or white, Christian or Jew or
Muslim, man or
woman, poor or rich, the way towards Beloved for all of them no matter
when and
where, is a lonely way. They all travel this road and they all shall
travel alone. There will be no assistance by any one. Those who chose
not to
travel alone and always cling to others for company, death shall make
sure they
will travel towards the Beloved alone.
[5] Watch out! There are imposters on
this road, those who
claim on TV or in books or in temples, that they know the way towards
the
Beloved. They are liars, no matter how long their beards, or how
expensive
their Italian suits or how humble their broadcast worships. Because my
path, on
the road of love to Beloved, is not the same for you. If I can find my
way,
that is only for me, and can never bring you along. Can not even bring
my own
children along.
What Ansaari could do for you,
what Rumi could do, or even
what Dara can do is to make you excited to BEGIN STEPPING on this road.
We can
write beautiful words to perform in your heart to get you going lovers.
No more
and no less.
[6] Where the Beloved holds court on
the Glorious Throne of
One-ness residing, there is no room for anyone else. Therefore if you
seek
anything or anyone, even your self you will not be able to reach to
this
Throne. The only way you can reach it is by means of getting rid of all
things
including your Self and all these poets and poems are about this.
[7] On the Day of Judgment no matter
who you are, you shall
face the Beloved the Creator and you are given the book of your life,
the
record containing any and all minute details and you shall read them
loud in
front of the entire Mankind. How you spent your time, use of proceed
for the
funds you were trusted with, treatment of your spouse, your parents,
your kids…
how you treated coworkers, your government… how you treated the
neighbors the
poor the needy… Lovers read your book today do not hesitate one more
day. Read
it aloud to your heart. Know for sure that is the only book your eyes
can read.
Upon the reading and studying this book you will find the truth about
your
Self, your essence, and once you learned who you are, you already have
come to
know the Beloved Creator. If you do not read the book of your life and
if you
read all the scriptures, books of Sufism and do all the Yoga moves and
bought
all the self help hardcover and tapes… you will not know anything more
than the
bill for payments for these material.
[8] Sufi’s always mock the Zahid a
person who renounces the
word, eats little, lives in a monastery and constantly praying. Ansaari
says
that these are all outwardly pretend. May be the person for few moments
was on
the path of love to SHOW OFF that he is this or the Beloved is that.
But in
reality when examining closer not a thing from Beloved was in this mix!
All
there was, was him Self. He was the lover and the beloved, false ones.
Because he did not
let go of his Self, and therefore when you are still present the
Beloved is not
welcomed into your home, your heart and your worships. Ansaari
concludes, all
this noise and acting up was bunch of doubts and fake-certainties and
false-devolutions.
Lovers, I did that, you did
that we all did that. Lets
disrobe our selves from this Self and lets pray to the Beloved to give
courage
first and foremost to take the first step towards It.
Do not be like the Escher’s
ant on Mobius strip, starts on the
right side ends on the same point on the wrong side, moments later.
©
2003-2002,
Dara Shayda
