Dearest Sabine
When two lovers are close by,
they are furthest away from
truth and doves of sincerity startled by the prancing wolf of passion.
Endowed
by the descend of distance from Heavens, there comes a trying moment
when truth
is separated from false pretence when blood sieved from the tears of
the true
lover and liar left with eyes arid and lips swept away un-kissed
smiling upon
another…
My love for you Sabine,
unlocked the secrets of your own
beauty as was truly bestowed upon by the Creator. Whether you truly
loved me,
or whether others unearthed your beauty matters not, a treasure trove
filled
with exotic jewels of beauty was unveiled by the cipher of my love:
The wise
know there are shortcomings in the affairs of reason [1]
Since the
secrets of Leyli’s beauty, solely to Majnoon manifest
Yearning
with Your desire sailing a small yacht in the desert
Typhoon of
depression drowned my life into the abyss of waves
Yet the distance grew in years
and miles, the full moon of
loss shone upon my broken face when the Heavens assured that I shall
never lay
eyes upon you. A black woman drowned in my tears and my pregnant eyes
gave
birth to you anew, but this time as my noble child my beloved daughter:
Yesterday
You were
just a black woman
When we
were together
Since your
departure
You are my
black child
Eternal
Pearl
Sable
Pearl of Paradise
Glittering
the iridescent
Luster of
Allah’s Affection
I cry not
for a black woman
Any
longer…
I cry for
my child
My flesh,
my blood
I pray not
for a black woman
Any
longer…
I pray for
my child
My light,
my eyes
Like a child no matter what
she does the father forgives and
adores, heartache and anger left me and what is left now an
ever-lasting
affection for my beloved little girl:
You were
just a black woman
When we
were together
But Today
I wear
your silken garment
Silk of
Paradise’s sorrow
For
Allah’s Forgiveness
I yearn
not for a black woman
Any
longer…
I yearn
for my child
My faith,
my fear
I suffer
not for a black woman
Any
longer…
I suffer
for my child
My
invocations, my devotion
A father does not love his
child because she is good; he
loves her because he is the father. And this sphinx winged with true
love
hatched through the cracks of my broken heart breathing my fiery sobs.
And I am
today mere ash blown away by the untruth of your words.
My most sincere charity ever
was the pearls of my tears for
you Sabine. Though you accepted them not, Allah took them and in return
for my
sobbing face opened a gate to an unknown destination and when I braved
looking
through the gates, I found your mother and found you yet unborn in her
eyes:
You were
just a black woman
When we
were together
But
tomorrow…
You are my
gate
Gate to
the Paradise
Gate to
your mother’s
Eternal
place of birth
Now I understand, you are a
map pointing to the eternal
place of our birth. Whether you walked the streets of Port Au Prince or
the
streets of Boston, your skin wafts like a royal flag in the air of
benevolence
announcing the Edict of the Creator:
“Ever-lasting home this way”
This day, my last day, I can
not love you here or now, only
you can be found in the ever-green orchards of loss where the cloak of
black
skin falling down, twains of your braids my trembling hands pulled away
to
behold, not you, but gazing upon my true self:
I lay
still under the warm quilt of your memories
Every patch
A moment
enslaved by the sultan of your smiles
Stitched
together by the “carefully caught regrets” [2]
And under
my migraine shaped head
A firm
satin pillow stuffed with velleities
Inhaling
the fragrance of melancholy
Ethereal
blossoms in evergreen orchards of loss
Exhaling
the Edict of my Lord
Offering
the gratitude for Your Love
Its
everlasting roots sprouting in non-existence
Branches
stretched in darkness of your horizons
[1] Leyli and Majnoon are lovers in an
epic story in ancient
Persia similar to Romeo and Juliet. Majnoon the male lover was madly in
love
with Leyli. The wise people did not see much of any beauty in her and
wondered
why this terrifically handsome and wealthy man loves this girl? Click on this
line if you like to read more of this poem…
[2] Quote from T.S. Eliot
© 2003-2002, Dara Shayda